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Lesbian FAQ

What does lesbian mean?

A lesbian is a woman who feels sexually attracted to other women.

What makes someone a lesbian woman?

Over the years there has been a lot of research into what makes women lesbians and although there are lots of theories none have been proven. No body really knows why and in the end it’s not a problem – it doesn’t matter what caused it – it’s living with it that’s important.

Is it wrong to be a lesbian?

Being a lesbian is no more wrong than being a heterosexual. Sexual orientation should not be used to state that somebody is wrong as a person.

What is homophobia?

Homophobia is the term given to people who have a fear of, aversion to, or discriminate against homosexuality or homosexuals. It can also mean disapproving of homosexual people, their lifestyle, their sexual behaviour, or culture.

Why does homophobia still exist?

Homophobia still exists as it is created by people’s views and misunderstanding of what a homosexual person is. By educating and changing these views we can reduce homophobia.

Are lesbians normal?

Sexual behaviour and orientation exist along a continuum that ranges from people who are exclusively attracted to members of the same sex, to people who are equally attracted to members of both sexes, to people who are exclusively attracted to members of the opposite sex. All are normal.

Eight myths about lesbian women

1. Lesbian women recruit others into their lifestyle

A lesbian woman would not need to recruit you as there are plenty of lesbians in the World already.

2. Lesbian women hate men

Some lesbians may hate men, some may not, everyone has there own opinion and sexuality does not define this.

3. All lesbians are butch with short hair

Lesbians come in different shapes and sizes, just the same as heterosexuals. Though there will be some lesbians with short hair and a “butch” personality, a lot are not. The only difference between lesbians and heterosexuals is their sexual orientation.

4. You can choose to be a lesbian or a heterosexual

No. Sexual orientation emerges for most people in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. A woman will just know if she is a lesbian or a heterosexual.

5. Sex between two women has no risk

Sexually transmitted infections can be passed on no matter what gender or sexuality you are. It is therefore important to practice safe sex with whoever you sleep with.

6. A lesbian woman can not have children

Just because a woman is a lesbian it doesn’t mean she can not have children. Becoming a lesbian does not stop reproduction or rights to adopt in the UK.

7. Lesbians are promiscuous

Lesbians are no more or less promiscuous than heterosexual women. Just like heterosexuals lesbians can have monogamous relationships, be celibate, or have multiple partners.

8. If a friend tells me she is a lesbian, then she is coming on to me

No being a lesbian is part of your friend, by sharing it with you she is letting you get to know her as a whole person. Usually if a woman comes out to you she is showing she trusts you, not wanting to sleep with you.

Lesbian women and sex

Whoever has sex should do it safely; you are only at risk if you are not careful. The general rule is not allowing blood, semen, or vaginal fluids to pass from one person's body to another's.

Therefore …

… for oral sex:
Use dental dams, and flavoured condoms!
… and penetrative sex:
Use condoms and lube!

It is also a good idea to get checked out at a GUM or Sexual Health Clinic if you think you may have caught an STI. It is far better to get checked out sooner and get treatment rather than wait as this could make it worse.

See our female sex guide for more information.

Do lesbian women have rights?

Over the years the LGBT community as a whole has started to be treated equally in society and within UK laws and legislation. There are many examples of these:

 

Even though many rights have been granted to gay men and the LGBT community as a whole there are still areas in which gay men and the LGBT community are not equally treated.

It is important to continue campaigning for equal treatment, lesbian women do not want to be treated differently, they just want to be equal. See our campaigns section for more information on AberPride’s campaigns.

Coming Out
Staying Safe
Lesbian FAQ
Gay FAQ
Bi FAQ
Trans FAQ
Male Safe Sex Guide
Female Safe Sex Guide
Sexual Transmitted Infections (STIs)
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